In Honor of Kyle Minogue Edlund, November 26, 1964 – May 10, 20015
“Sometime ago, I was given a treasure to guard and now the owner has wanted it back.”
Beruriah to her husband Rabbi Meir in telling her husband that their son is dead.
I haven’t been actively connecting outward for several months. People have written me and wondered why I wasn’t doing my newsletter any more. My heart just wasn’t in it. For the past 18 months, I have been living with my son, Kyle’s, kidney cancer. From diagnosis to death it was exactly 18 months and 2 days. He was on his way to Lego Land when he started to have symptoms. We all had no idea that when diagnosed, it had already spread and he was at stage 4 from the get go.
This part of the journey with Kyle is complete. He was my sweetheart, my philosopher and truth teller. He was sensitive and smart and it was always complex and interesting just talking with him. To make it even more heart-wrenching, he passed out of here early on Mother’s Day morning. Interesting note is that he was born on Thanksgiving Day and his body died on Mother’s Day. He was in his personal 9 year and had just completed his 7th Soul cycle, the most important cycle of all.
I did the eulogy at his funeral. The whole ceremony was wonderful and his 8 year old daughter spoke. It is the saddest of days to say goodbye to your child. I have buried my friends, my parents, my siblings and been through divorce. Nothing prepares you for the loss of your child. It feels like a terrible sunburn that you cannot touch as the pain would be even worse. So very few people really understand and to talk about it, when a friend asks how are you, is to relive it all over again. I avoid it.
Many of you have contacted me with such loving words and comfort and I do so appreciate you. Thank you so much for your support during this emotional journey of caring for a child that has been given an exit out of here. The last few months were exhausting and I have very conflicted thoughts of at-home death and the whole institutionalized hospice program–set up by health insurance companies.
I am going forward with my work and have been scheduling clients for sessions. It has been not only a way to help others but to also help heal. I am so grateful to have you and look forward to working with you. Many thanks.
In the future, I plan to write some interesting pieces from this journey. You cannot go through it and not be permanently changed. I became much closer to the unseen world and naturally prepare myself for my own journey to it. We all will do it and it is important to remember that every day is your “last chance”. Don’t waste it, don’t take it for granted and really appreciate the very simple but critical things you need in your life. We are downright silly and nuts if we could hear what we get upset about or sound like. It all comes down to needing each other and caring for and about each other. The rest is distraction.
Vice-President Joe Biden lost his own 46 year old son this Saturday to brain cancer. Vice President Biden, who had already lost a wife and child, had spoken at many funerals over his lifetime and one of his quotes from his famous eulogies was the following, “There will come a day, I promise you, and your parents as well, when the thought of your son or daughter or your husband or wife brings a smile to your lips before it brings a tear to your eye.” I look forward to that day.
Thanks again for your love and support and I look forward to working with you and your groups. Life goes on and it doesn’t wait for us.
I just heard about Kyles passing. I am saddened by this news and would like to offer my condolences to you and your family. I do not know if you remember me but Kyle and we’re friends from high school in Hong Kong. I will say a prayer for him and his family and make an offering to the Buddha and donation of food.to the poor in his honor. Please pass along my best wishes and condolences to Sven and the rest of the family when you get a chance. It’s funny(strange) how the universe works….I have recently been transfered by my company back to south east Asia and have visited several places where Kyle and I hung out together when we were kids, it brought back some really happy memories, he was always a good friend to and I will never forget him. Blessings to you and your family.
Dearest Gail, I am so very sorry to hear about Kyle’s passing. In time may your memories bring you peace and joy once again. Sending you a long heartfelt hug and healing energies for your whole family.
Dear Gail, having lost a teenage son I absolutely know and understand your loss and your intense pain. It is truly a life changing event to loose your child but know that it is true that the pain does ease with time. Know that you will smile and laugh again and that you will be able to remember the good times that you shared in this life time with joy in your heart . Sending healing energy to you as you travel this new journey.
Sending heartfelt condolences to you, Gail.
What a touching tribute. And, how beautiful are your words describing him … “your truth-teller.” Kyle sounds like a magnificent human being. There are no words …
xo … DawnMarie
Peace and love to you and your family. Heartbreaking.
Dear Gail, my deepest sympathy on Kyle’s passing…all your children are lucky to have you and Kyle was blessed to have had that opportunity to discuss and live the past 18 months helping the two of you to connect on a personal level only a Mother and son would understand. Truly Sad that Kyle leaves behind a daughter and his family and truly hope you can help each other to remain strong during this challenging time. Bless you and your family
Dear Gail, Prayers and gentle thoughts for you and your family as you move through this time. Thank you for your appreciation and understanding of this grand journey.
Thank you for so bravely sharing your tragic and shocking news about Kyle’s passing. The loss of a child is so heart-wrenching for a parent to endure and my heart goes out to you in compassion. I wish you loving and fond memories of Kyle always.
Blessings and Healing,
Thank you for sharing your tribute to Kyle.
As a mother of an only son, my heart is with you.
I send my prayer, Nam Myoho Renge Kyo to him as he continues on another path.
I have known others who left at 49. That he is in his 9 year and that he left on Mother’s Day is profound.
Peace, Love and Healing to you Gail.
May the wonderful memories of good times you shared with Kyle be of comfort to you today. Love, peace and blessings,
What a shock to hear about your son’s passing. Our thoughts and prayers are there for you.
May strength and peace be with you, and the good memories……..
Blessing and love,
Liesda and Dennis Howell
My Dear Gail: My prayers to you and your family going through these challenges plus more yet to come. May you find peace in this new journey.
Gail — My heart goes out to you! Thank you for sharing your loss with such courage and honesty. You are an inspiration to so many. Sending prayers for your healing and peace of mind and heart.
Thank you for your Courage to share Gail in your Heartfelt remembering of your beloved son, Kyle.
Wishing you the warmth that the fondest memories bring and a thousand hugs from me to you. May the knowing that our loved ones are truly right here with us and love us perhaps even more, be of some comfort to you and your family.
Much Love, Cathy
Words do not have the power to say how much I grieve with you in your loss. May the light of G*D be with you and with Kyle. Sending all love always,
I am sending much love and prayers and a big hug from me to you. You have been on my mind lately and now I know why. I just found the notes from our last session when I was cleaning my desk this weekend. I had put them in a special place so I would not lose them. Of course I forgot where I put them. You are so tuned in to the universe and all its wonder. I’m sure that Kyle will remain close to you and do good through you from another realm. It is all so mysterious and unclear to those of us left behind. May God bless you and your family and send healing and peace to all over time. You are loved.
I was so shocked and saddened by your post. If I can help in any way whatsoever please contact me. I had been thinking of you on and off and wanting to call. Today I was reading a poem I wrote called Sacred Places…may it bring a bit of comfort to your heart that I am sure is still very swollen with tears. May God bless you and your family. I see exactly what you wrote about your beloved son in his photograph. You are a magnificent woman filled with such wisdom and love and I know that now Kyle will be sharing directly through your work making it even larger an impact on the world. Sometimes things can only be worked from the other side…the much more heavenly and beautiful and pure side of time.
There is this place deep within my heart just for you.
You can access it any time you close your eyes and breathe your spirit into mine.
It’s a place where there is no time.
And you dance and sing with me.
And you breathe yourself into ecstasy.
It is a place where there are no boundaries.
There is no fear.
Where all is well.
Where all is fair and square.
Where there is no score to even.
Where there is peace beyond reason.
It is a place where you and God and me meet as one.
This is in Eternity.
There is no illness.
There is no death.
There is only success.
You can only have rewards.
It’s a place where you hear the angels sing.
Where you hear the children laugh and play.
No tears exist in this place.
Harmony fills the air.
Cars and trucks do not enter here.
Only dancing in the sky.
It’s where Eternity meets Father Time.
And where Mother Earth can rest.
This is our Reward.
This is where Love is born.
This is where we merge as one.
This is where we pulse in perfect harmony with Creation and we declare our most glorious of forms.
All the doors in this Sacred Space will open as you step up to the plate.
This is a place that we all can enter.
This is a place where we live happily ever after.
This is where we go to rest when we first pass.
This is where the Tunnel of Light brings us to the Breast of Heaven’s Nest.
This is where we don’t have to try.
This is where we just exist in bliss and discovery of the Divine.
This is the trip none of us will miss.
This is where the Angels fly.
This is where we can write with the Stars up in the Sky and we look into the Eyes of the Moon for the very first time.
This is where we kiss the Sun.
This is where we vibrate as one with the wild call of the Divine Bride and Mind.
This is where the Beloved exists and waits for us to come home into His heart.
This is where the Core Energetic magnifies itself to finding and releasing the Eternal Peace.
And the circumference of the Sky and the depth of the Oceans can be measured.
And Divided by two into seclusion we go with God the Most High.
Lisa A. Blackman
Spirit Life, Ecstatic Poetry and Prayers
Your heartfelt words rekindled thoughts of my Mother and the loss of her son.. When I was 7 years old I saw and felt loss and pain, but no words quite expressed what my Mother could have felt until I read your feelings. Love to you, and may the softness and the whispers of love from the heavens be with you today and always as they were with her.
My heart feels with you. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Being the person that you are, I’m sure you will use this experience to deepen you and we will all be blessed by what you are learning from this. Your son’s presence will, no doubt, continue to touch us all in some way, thanks to your sharing. Be gentle with yourself as you heal. Thank you for reminding me to love and treasure my daughter even more, because of what you have shared today. (You see, Kyle’s life has made a difference for this mother, even though I never met him.)
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Dear Gail – I have no words of wisdom, but since we are all one, you will receive my blessings, and thoughts of love and comfort. Carry on with courage and know your beloved son is always with you. Glory
My thoughts and my prayers are with you during this difficult time. We are not suppose to bury our children.
Life is precious and I am trying to live each day to the fullest.
Hi Gail I am so sorry to hear about your son. You are right about losing a child and how different it is. I lost my daughter to leukemia a few years ago at the age of 29 years. It is heartbreaking. The pain does subside but I still miss her. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Peace and joy Joan Kesman
Sending you much love and hope God keeps you in his grace. What you’ve gone through has to be the hardest loss for a soul to bear. One day you will find a smile before a tear in remembering him too. Remember our loved ones who have passed are fine and at peace, and yes, even happy. I’m sure he wants you to find a way to enjoy your life now while you’re here, and in time you will. My prayers are with you.
Many heartfelt thoughts go out to you, Gail. The mother-son relationship is such a special one. As we’ve discussed, I struggle with loving a son who is not well and can understand the pain, although I have come to learn we all have our own journeys. May his transition eventually serve your ability to live, love and contribute at an even greater level.
What a stunning tribute. It is to be read again and again and taken to heart.
I am honored to be your friend.
I am sorry for your most painful loss Gail. My heart goes out to you.
Gail, what a heartbreaking story. I’m so sorry this has been your son’s passage, and yours. Knowing that there’s a bigger plan does not take away the suffering. I will have you in my thoughts and prayers. You will be a teacher for us all about this. You might like to check out my friend Sheila Bender’s book about grieving the death of her son, when the time is right.
Blessings and comfort,
Much love to you, Gail. I had wondered about him during our last session, but did not want to mention him. You are in my thoughts.