People contact me with the question as to when will women step into their leadership roles. The answer is NOW. It may seem an unreasonable answer in light of the recent loss of a female candidate for the presidency. This is not an indictment of female leadership but a complex issue that needs to be analyzed for its lessons. I have said that the female reclaim to power would begin in the year 2000 and continue for 1000 years. We have a long road ahead.
Inside of this time frame is the current Li Period of the IChing. It is represented by the middle-aged female or the middle daughter. It’s preparation period was 2000 to 2024. Its intensity begins in 2024 and continues to strengthen for the next 20 years to 2044. From 2044 to 2064, its’ leadership is integrated into the society. A few things to remember here: the female is the conscience of society. Men have feared this quality for thousands of years. Take a look at the world today and for the last thousands of year where men have dominated. It has been continual wars and diminishment of the female. As much as the male dominance has controlled most aspects of society, the female has been making progress and her voice and representation will only get stronger. Societies that do not respect or encourage the female will not do well.
Women are pushing back and winning. It seems like such a long shot at this time but this time is passing and will continue to change, especially in government positions and more and more in the business world. One of the areas where she has not made progress is in the world of poker playing. I do not personally know any female poker player or female poker groups. Groups where women get together, put some money down and play. It’s not any wonder that the worldwide poker tournaments are a man’s world. Only 3% of women enter these tournaments. I hear women getting together to play various card games but I never hear of women getting together and playing with their own money. I used to belong to a bridge group many, many years ago. We also ate big calories of nuts, candy and other comfort junk food. We could catch up on everyone’s lives. It never dreamed of having a poker group that used money to play for real. Men do it all the time. They get together, practice risk taking, keep poker faces, bluffing and learning negotiating skills on the side. It’s a great opportunity for business connections and maybe for making some money. It definitely hones the skill set. You see this scene depicting in many Hollywood films. I have never seen a scene of female poker players setting up their connections and risking their money in a movie game.
Yet, this skill set is extremely important. The fact that women self-censure is no excuse. To say that they are risk-adverse is not a good reason. It has been proven that income, age, savings and education play a big role. There are various reasons why women don’t risk as much as men. This has much more to do with societal factors such a fear of being punished. Women play it safe. We fold under pressure and second guess ourselves, we try to be liked too much and we don’t bet big enough when we do bet. Just as in any life skill, we need to learn the skills required in a poker game. It helps to have poker lessons, poker mentoring and actually playing enough games to hone those skills.
I am in Los Angeles so there maybe some female poker groups here. I don’t know but it would surprise me if there weren’t any. We have poker dens outside the city limits and they are usually packed. I don’t go to them but I am sure there are female players. They are the exception to the rule. It still stands true, 97% of poker tournament players are males.
There is a recent article in the Wall St. Journal by Maria Konnikova entitled “Poker Helped Me Take Risks, More Women Should Try It”. She writes about the skill set needed to be a good poker player and how much these skills help women in all phases of their lives. I never hear of this anywhere. It makes good sense though. In fact, she cites that various colleges, including Johns Hopkins and MIT teach students how to play poker. She goes on to say that the large trading firm Susquehanna International has its new hires spend at least 100 hours playing cards during a 10-week training program. Many organizations are trying to lure more women into the game. It all makes sense.
When you hear of most leadership programs to encourage women to up their skill sets, you don’t hear about playing more poker. It is more like how to negotiate, how to interview, interpersonal skills, etc. Yet, poker will give you more of the skill set so you can “learn the language of the street/marketplace”. Konnikova in her article states that poker gave her rewards such as “better at taking strategic risks not only in the game but also in life. I’ve raised my speaking fees, negotiated better pay for my writing have extricated myself from unappealing situations with less concern about being ‘nice’. Generally, my skills in poker have helped me become a much more confident and assertive version of myself.” This is something she never realized could happen until she actually played the game. She also said she tolerates criticism more from those who think that poker is unladylike. They have said that forever regarding women’s sports, running for elected office, combat roles in the army, female priests etc. “In the otherwise safe and mostly low-stakes environment of a poker table, it is fairly easy to experiment with fearlessness, with gambling, with loss.”
I remember back in the 80’s the power person was Britain’s Prime Minister, Margaret Thatcher. She was considered the “iron lady”. She exuded power. But, that wasn’t always true. I heard Margaret Thatcher when she ran for a local office in England. She sounded much like a village farmer. What happened? Later she would become one of the most powerful women in the world and a partner for Ronald Reagan in running the world. Find out, she worked with coaches who groomed her on voice delivery, enunciation, body posture, hand gestures. I don’t know if she included poker in the mix of fixes but she certainly prepared for her position. You may have heard the expression “her presence preceded her when she walked into a room”. What about your presence? It is so important. I can’t help but think our female soon-to-be leaders can only benefit from poker playing, voice delivery, apparel, body posture, hand gesture coaching. There are companies that do this. It’s a good investment. Women are playing catch up to power and just getting comfortable with it. Our next female candidate for presidency needs to have these important qualities. We invest in our college, both money and time. What about investing in ourselves and our presence? How about finding a poker game coach? It might be as good or better investment than a life coach.
Thank you, Gail! This was an excellent blog and very inspiring. I’m going to check it out and get a group together to learn!
excellent
Thank you. Please let people know the area of the country and maybe there some others who would like join to play.
The headline caught my attention because I played poker for many years and I was the only woman who played. I loved it and often won games. For me, it was a good lesson in believing in myself and sticking to my instincts. I would like to be in a woman’s poker group!
Years and years ago I heard a female poker player speak to an audience of strategic decision makers about how useful poker skills are in making decisions strategically. Consider “sunk cost” in how long to stay in the game make decisions about how long to wait in line, stay on hold, stay in a career, relationship. I think it can also relate to thinking critically about how our thoughts and beliefs can keep us stuck. What’s the payout? Does it serve our personal growth? Great post Gail.